i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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