he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
