and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize