Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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