i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
