Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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