i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
