i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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