That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
