His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
