No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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