The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
