she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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