The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
