You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
