Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
