we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
