Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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