she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
