yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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