Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
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did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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