He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
