I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
