I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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