Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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