dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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