she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
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I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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