You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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