I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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