Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
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Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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