??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
