Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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