Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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