you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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