were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
