Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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