I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize