It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
