the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The feeling are messing with the penis
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
