I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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