physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
