My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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