Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
