weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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