I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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