K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My bed smells like the plague
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize