break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
