So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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