I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
