they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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