I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
