I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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