So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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