Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
