My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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