i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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