Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
