you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
