I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize